| 9 days til my birthday. woo hoo. |
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| this xanga's done. lol sorry!! |
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| i dont get it. really. i wished i comletely shattered on the face of the earth sometimes.. i dont understand what the FUCK THEY WANT ME TO DO sometimes.
im doing everything they want. i aint fucking rebellious i aint fucking complaining. and i still get shit. man. this is some bullshit really. i dont know what the fuck it is about me they love bitching at. i can keep crying. or rebel. i choose not to. i get a ride. i dont. what the fuck you know? i'm fucking getting fucking bitch out for no fucking reason. . i dont fucking give a fuck anymore.
i dont know what to say. this whole family just loves to bitch me out. but at least i can still cry. and let things out somehow. keep all this bullshit inside hurts after awhile. and times like these were it gets closer to me just loosing it. i aby by all the rules. why are they being such bitches.
i swear man. i growing up and i still get shit. i dont get along with my brother. i dont get along with my mom. i dont get along with my dad. i dont get along with anyone in my family. and i've established that. i've kept everything within me like nothing ever happens.
but i'm hurting so much. that no one even knows what the fuck i'm actaully thinking of.
my day was fucking stupid.
morning was a bitch. school was a bitch. practice and tired. still danced. let it all out. and now what. the other half & i aren't fucking clickin. and he's leaving. my mom bitchin me out as soon as i fucking open the door. my dad loves to give me shit. and now here i am. piecing it all together. on xanga. because xanga seems to be the only thing thats actaully going to help. other than that. im crying to sleep. thats the plan
i'm glad everyone else had a good day. peace the fuck out. |
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Man, life's tough.
43 days left til i'm 17.
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| it seems as if though i'll never grow up. within this family. i'm sincerely unhappy with going through this family buisness. this is never ending. i can cry forever about this. it makes me angry. you know those times where all you do is cry... yeah.
holding up like this isn't fun. what's so wrong with me going out. what's so wrong with me going out. WHAT THE FUCK. i'm turning 17 a year 18. and i'm still in this fucking position. this is FUCKING BULL FUCKING SHIT.
i can't even go out to the movies? i can't even go out anywhere with friends? I CANT EVEN FUCKING GO ANYWHERE!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT. your keeping me in this HOUSE AND I TOLD YOU FUCKERS TO ALL YOU FUCKING FACES. AND YOUR TELLING ME, I HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL YOU THAT!? SHIT. you should consider me even being honest with your shit. i dont drink, do drugs, no fucking nothing. I CANT EVEN GO TO BIRTHDAY PARTIES. man. shit. FUCK THAT. this gets me so angry man. you dont even understand.
how much more if i told you fuckers i had a boyfriend. - then what!? shit. i'm glad you bitches dont know that shit. at least i have something for myself to make me happy. AT FUCKING LEAST I HAVE FRIENDS TO VENT. --
shit even i have to fucking MAKE UP EXCUSES TO go out to eat. what kinda shit is that? TELL ME? - over-protected? yes.
one more year. and im running the fuck away because i aint no fucking minor anymore. i'm outta that fucking bitch. SHIT.
" .. dont tell me i'm keeping you inside the house.. " - MAN WHAT KINDA SHIT AM I DOING EVERY FUCKING DAY OF MY LIFE!? STAYING THE FUCK INSIDE OF MY HOUSE. FUCK.
watch. the more you bitches keep me restricted.. trust me. theres going to be one day when i'll get tired of putting up with shit. i probably wouldnt give a fuck. i'll scream my life out my lungs & ILL FUCKING ENJOY IT. i'll FUCKING LET IT ALL OUT ONE DAY? and watch, you'd be surprised on HOW MUCH I HAVE TO FUCKING HOLD INSIDE OF ME.
i need screaming / white people / harcore / music. fuck the free world. |
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